Marriage, like all serious decisions in life, always comes with a lot of thoughts and opinions. From people who are married, used to be married, have never been married, or don’t ever want to get married. And these opinions are often voiced rather loudly. Now that I think about it, I know opinions of marriage from people who I barely know anything else about. So it’s easy to see how these opinions can cloud judgments for certain couples.
I’ve heard it all.
- Marriage is the most sacred bond between two people.
- Marriage is just a piece of paper.
- Marriage is fine, but remember to separate and protect your assets.
- Marriage is so the government can control you.
And looking back, I don’t really know what I thought marriage would be like after it was official. Myles and I started dating in 2016, meaning we were together for 6.5 years before we got engaged, and 8 years when we got married. Naturally, and rather naively, I didn’t think marriage would change much between us. We had been together so long and I thought we knew everything there was to know about one another. But I was wrong.
Marriage has been a beautiful journey – but I’ll admit the first year came with more learnings than I thought it would. What some people view as a “piece of paper” is so much more than that. It’s a commitment, and also a legal binding document. There’s no easy way out for anyone, not as if we were ever looking for one. But the stakes are much higher. It’s a process to split up, costing precious time and money, which I think it should. Marriage is a huge decision that I don’t think should be taken lightly, so the process to end it should reflect that.
So with all of that in mind, the first year was spent teaching and learning. Us teaching each other what we expect from the other now that we’re a married a couple while also learning what the other one wants. It was a new area for both of us after we had been comfortable together for so long. And with anything new comes some discomfort. I’d be lying if I said it was all sunshine and rainbows – but it wasn’t all clouds and thunderstorms either. The best way I can describe it is really trial and error as we both gained an understanding of the other person’s expectations and we figured out together what kind of marriage we want to have.
And then aside from getting married, we had other huge milestones happen that first year. Myles graduated from Aircraft Maintenance Technician school, and took 9 (!) tests to become FAA-certified before officially starting his new job. So year 1 of marriage came with a lot of newness all around.
But if the word for our first year of marriage was learnings, then this second year was all about application. Enjoying the new way we learned to love one another and enjoying the fruits of our labor. For the first time in a long time, we weren’t saving for a big event (new house, engagement party, wedding, etc.) or working towards a huge goal. We got to just exist together. Do the things we love, spend time with the people we love, and have fun.
And through all of that, this second year has served as a reminder of how deeply I love Myles. Both as my husband and as a person in general. He’s gentle, kind, thoughtful, funny, caring, soft, deep, handsome… I could go on and on. He does so much for me everyday that I couldn’t even list. He is the definition of a man to me in the way he provides for me and Cheesecake, and I know he’ll be the best dad when we’re ready for that chapter. I really couldn’t have picked a better partner, and he makes me want to be the best wife possible for him. I can’t and don’t want to imagine my life without him, and I am so happy that we will be able to grow old together.
Marriage aside, Year 2 was also filled with more adventures – the biggest one being our move to Dallas! Packing up everything we own and making a 15 hour drive to our new city is a memory we’ll always have. We’re absolutely loving our new city, the people, the food, everything there is to do. We definitely left a part of our hearts in Minnesota, but we truly ended up where we were meant to.
Getting more comfortable and familiar with marriage has been quite the ride. But my favorite part has been Myles and I creating the marriage we want. Because in my opinion, that’s one of the most beautiful things about marriage and possibly my favorite – how unique it is for each individual couple. What works for us might not work for someone else and vice versa. And I love how we’re building our marriage with what’s important to us, like spending time together, traveling, waiting for the right moment to have kids so we can enjoy more time with one another.
As we look ahead at Year 3, I am so excited for what’s in store for us. We have a lot planned, and I’m so excited to do all of it with the love of my life by my side.
XOXO,
Mrs. Thompson
lifesalugobeach.com 