Officially Mrs. Crystina Thompson. Lugo-Beach is now the last name of my past. It’s an emotional process, but it’s a decision I’m so glad I made.
For those who knew me growing up, I was always pretty set on the fact that I would never get married. It didn’t feel like a priority to me, even as a young girl. I never fantasized about a wedding, or dreamt about finding the perfect man. I liked boys, yes, but that was never what I wanted my life to be about. I always thought that when I was an adult, what I really wanted to be the center focus of my life was my career. I wanted to excel at my profession, whatever that would end up being. I wanted to go to work and give 110% always. But like a lot of other thoughts, that would change once I got older.
My career is still very important to me. But it’s not the only thing that matters to me in my life like I thought it would be. I found, dated and married an amazing man who I’ve built, and will continue to build, a life with. And with marriage comes the discussion of what traditions we want to continue and which we want to stray away from.
I think there’s several ways to look at the decision of a woman changing her last name after marriage. On one hand, it’s tradition. A quick Google search tells me that the concept itself dates back to the 15th century. On the other hand, not changing your last name is seen as symbol of feminism these days. So like everything else in life, it’s all about how you look at it.
I like to think I looked at it deeper than the two above ways. On one hand, there’s a man and his family who love me so much that they want me to take their last name to make it official. To let the world know I’m part of them. On the other hand, I have my own last name that I was born with, am known by, and accomplished everything in my life with. So what was the right decision to make?
My husband was always adamant about me changing my last name, which we discussed together. I understood why, and respected the reasoning. My two closest married friends also changed theirs, which was helpful to witness. So in the end, I decided to change my name.
When people ask why, I give them all the reasons. I tell them it’s the first lesson of marriage being a compromise. I’ve had people point out that it’s not really a compromise, since I had to change my name and there’s nothing he had to do on his end, but I disagree. The fact is, me having his last name meant more to him than me keeping mine. And it was a special feeling to know that he and his family wanted to officially make me part of their family. So I changed it. And while he didn’t have to do anything on his end this time, it will eventually come. Because that’s what marriage is to me. You give and you take when you can.
I started the process to change my name about two months ago, first with social security, and now with my driver’s license, which came in the mail Friday. Today, I made the calls to several banks and companies to change my name on record, seeing Crystina Lugo-Beach switch to Crystina Thompson live right before my eyes. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t sad at times, but it’s something that I’m happy about in the end.
I look forward to the new accomplishments I’ll achieve and the new memories I’ll make as Mrs. Thompson. And the family I’ll create as a Thompson party of 3… or 4… or 5… or 6… 🙂
XOXO,
Crys
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